shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
my being single is dangerous.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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