he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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