I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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