my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
It's never too late to be topless.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
