You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
