dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
