I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
