operation harelip BJ is a go
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
