You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
