Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
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She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
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That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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