Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I wish I only lived at night.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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