watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
