Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
