I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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