I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
