Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
