Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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