wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
