Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize