never play flip cup with pint glasses
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
