And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
