can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
