We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
