Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
