you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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