And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
