I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
