I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
