office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
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