Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
