Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
bring money and cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize