She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Two words: nipple clamps
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