I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
so much tequila, so little girl.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
