booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize