I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize