the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
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Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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