We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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