My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
