I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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