found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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