hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
