when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
