i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
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Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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