the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
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On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
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He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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