I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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