I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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