I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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