Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
