Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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