32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
