i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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