Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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