talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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