Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
