My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
