community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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