"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
