i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
sex in a hospital.. check
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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