I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
