does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
