She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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