I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
