you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
