Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
