Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
