i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize