she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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